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As I hinted at in the last post being in formation and study has been somewhat of a challenging time. One can almost glimpse into the pain and emotion Jesus may have felt in the Garden of Gesthemane. At one level there is a feeling that God is calling me to ordained ministry and on another the process seems to be just too overwhelming and too difficult to manage. It begs the question then is this sense of call something worth ‘fighting’ for. The trick is finding the point by which one can say ‘let this cup pass’ or ‘not my will but yours’.
It is hard to know the general consensus of others going through formation but I suspect there are varying degrees of ‘Gesthemane’ experiences going on for people. There is a sense of becoming the body broken, a complete self emptying so that God can put us back together in the way God wants us to be.
A few weeks back I thought I had a solution to part of the problem I was going through and some things began to make a little sense. But it has not turned out to be so crystal clear as it was. That in part has really thrown me and I have really reached the place of asking is it better to let the cup pass or can I get to that sense of not by my will but yours.
I’m not sure how one gets to that place.
It has been ages since I last posted here. Most people have probably given up checking here for any new updates. No matter.
I entered formation at the beginning of this year, along with commencing my B Theol degree. I am enjoying spending more time with people I have got to know through study and formation. Though I have to say the actual formation program and degree has been somewhat less …. enjoyable. I’m undertaking a full time program as well as the demands of formation and field placement.
The long and the short of it is that I seem to have ran into a snag as far as managing the load. It has meant looking into some of the reasons behind what seems to be the underpinning issue … more on that at another time. Suffice to say for now there have been some interesting revelations that have caused me to really look at how I proceed with the next step … again more on that later.
Right now I wanted to simply see if wordpress had kept my blog and whether or not I would be able to still post here, it might be come a useful outlet at the moment.
That all aside. I have been placed in a parish not too far from me and it is excellent. I’m having a really good time there so far and am looking forward to continued involvement there.