Feeling like Salieri

Historians of music probably reject the rivalry shown between Salieri and Mozart in the popular play and film Amadeus. However it makes for a good story. Salieri recognises the pure genius of Mozart, and in the play and film is often portrayed as being mocked by God through Mozart’s gift for music. Salieri prays to God to be able to be a great musician but always sees himself as but a shadow of Salieri. I feel a lot like that tonight. I hear beautiful music sung by others, that sounds much like the voices of angels from heaven, but all I can manage is to sound like a seagull squawking over of chip at the seaside.

I already know some will read this and disagree with what I’ve written, but I know that there is a vast difference than being able to mimic sounds like a well trained parrot, but I also know that that parrot spends the rest of it’s time squawking. The trouble is when I see a note on the staff, I can hear it in my head but it doesn’t come from my lips the same. I feel frustrated when people say ‘listen’ and ‘sing it back’, as if it’s that easy, and I can’t. Though it could be worse, I could perhaps not be even able to hear and appreciate good music. So best be thankful for the small things in life.